Foster care tales told

Page 38

Over the past year and one-half the Alberta government, in particular the Department of Social Services, has been on the receiving end of much criticism with regards to child care. It has become an issue which today receives more attention than ever before. One of the driving forces behind this moment stems from an incident that occurred in the summer of 1984.

In June of that year a foster child, Richard Cardinal, took his own life at the tender age of 17. Abused, unloved, neglected and deprived in most of the 28 homes he'd known, Cardinal became a lonely and frustrated child. His suicide was a symbolic damnation of an unsavory social services system.

The Native community was incensed and demanded a reassessment and overhaul of child care policy and practice in this province.

Unfortunately, the travesty of Cardinal is not a foreign one to the Native community. There have been dozens, even hundreds of similar cases and that fact surfaced loud and clear on the final day of Native Awareness Week at the University of Alberta when a four-member panel vocalized their experiences of what it was like to be raised as foster children.

"Sash" (Sandra) Thickson, Joey Hamelin, Gil Cardinal (no relation to Richard), and Richard Merasty presented their views on foster child care as it pertained to their own experiences.

SASH'S STORY

Without a doubt, Thickson's story proved the most moving of the four. As her story unwound and the memories were recreated, the education student stumbled through her presentation with tears welling in her eyes, her voice choked and broken. It was no easy task for her as she struggled along to inform an approximately 100 listeners of her tribulations which must have touched each and every person on the audience.

In relating her story, Thickson qualified her attitude, "I'm not here to promote anger or hatred," she said, "but to help foster change."

She told of how she was removed from her natural mother at six months old to become a ward of the Children's Aid Society (CAS). Her two sisters were also apprehended.

One family tried to camouflage her Indianness by having cosmetic surgery performed on her nose to make her look like a white person. She was later told that it would make life easier for her.

Some years later, when she traced her natural mother who was alcoholic - the main reason for her being apprehended by the CAS in the first place - her mother wouldn't believe it was really her.

Thickson recalled the beating she received in foster homes and of being sexually molested by a foster parent. Disoriented and confused, she was placed in a home for the emotionally disturbed for four years.

At 15, she went on her own only to involve herself in the drag-me-down world of booze, drugs and prostitution. But those days are behind her now.

"Since finding my identity, I realize that being Native is not just growing up in a Native community but it's what inside of you," she said. "I knew I had to change, to grab what I could form the past and go forward," she added.

Sash now has a positive outlook on life and is of the firm belief that "we (Natives) will make this future a brighter one for our children."

RICHARD'S STORY

Richard Merasty, a Social Services Native Resource Worker, was the panel's second speaker. Although he wasn't raised by his immediate parents, he had the good fortune of being raised in an extended family situation by his grandparents.

"My grandparents really made my life positive...took good care of me," Merasty said.

He used to bus to school 34 miles away to Meadow Lake where he first encountered discrimination "because we were bussed and because we were Native."

He told of how his granny had always wanted at least one family member to complete school. For that reason, his granny moved to Meadow Lake and Merasty did finish high school. For him, his up-bringing was positive.

JOEY'S STORY

The third panelist, Joey Hamelin, is a socialwork student. Up to the ageof eight, she too was raised by grandparents because her own mother had planned to give her up for adoption. The time spent with her grandparents she relived as good ones. Later, she lived with extended family members because "grandpa thought he couldn't care for me any longer." Hamelin missed those days for the love she'd known was "no longer there."

"Maybe it made me grow tough inside," she commented.

Hamelin eventually returned to her grandfather for awhile before moving in with a friend's family at age 12. Although she was well received, she still "needed people to tell me they loved me," offered Hamelin.

Then, Hamelin went through an identity crisis in which she "denied being Native." Soon she found herself asking questions like, "Who am I?" She got to feeling alone and sorry for herself. At age 16 she attempted suicide with aspirins, but only got sick. "No one reached out, was sympathetic, or showed they cared," Hamelin continued.

She then went through the whole trip of denial, confusion and so on. This only led her to run away and take up with a boyfriend. She lost contact with both her foster and natural families and felt misunderstood. "I developed a sense of stubbornness," she said, "because no one cared".

Her mother who was living in Vancouver, was alcoholic, and like "a total stranger to me and I couldn't accept her 'cause she'd given me up."

About two years ago, Hamelin went to visit her mother. It was not a happy reunion and "her boozing made me feel more anger towards her." She died not too long ago.

As for her father whom she has never met or known, Hamelin says "I still long to meet my father, fill in the emptiness and find out where I come from." To this day, her not knowing him still bothers her.

Hamelin wants to be of service, especially to Native children. "It motivates me; I knew what it was like" she concluded.

GIL'S STORY

Gil Cardinal, a film producer with the National Film Board, was the final speaker.

Cardinal is currently wrking on a film about what he gained and what he lost as a foster child, and his search for his natural family. Like many foster children, he grew up in white homes and, like many, he was denied his heritage.

As with the case of Richard Merasty, Cardinal didn't really know who he was until he was discriminated against. He asserts that he knew what kind of person he was, that "I became a reasonably together person; I gained that from being in protective custody but can't say what I gained or lost." He hopes that his film may provide him with the answer(s).

What becomes abundantly clear from all four presenters is the confusion that stems from family situations which are disrupted for whatever reasons. They are further compounded when one is Native and because there is no love, no caring or understanding, and no sense of identity or self-worth which emanates from foster parent situations. It is for this reason that many Natives and organizations are determined to remedy the inadequacies of what is viewed to be a deficient way of dealing with Native children in foster care. This they wish to do by having some measure of control over those programs which affect Native children, especially those in the care of non-Native homes which do not respect or instill in the child any sense of being or worth.