Aboriginal TV - old favorites with a twist?

Page 7

It came upon me before I even knew what hit me. I'm talking about fall. It has arrived yet again, signaling another well-publicized, colorful extravaganza of seasonal battles. No, I am not talking about the beauty of the changing leaves or the wrapping up of numerous sports seasons. No, I talk of once again being thrust into another war of the airwaves. The new television season has arrived.

New shows, new stars. But oddly enough, many of the new shows have the same feel to them of shows gone by. Could it possibly be that these shows could have, well, perhaps, maybe, the same premise as earlier shows? Well, you know what they say, there is nothing new under the sun. Or is there?

With talk rampant among the federal, provincial and Aboriginal governments concerning the implementation of some form of self-government 1998, anything could be possible. Picture it in your mind, if you dare, the fall of that pivotal year. You tune in on your brand new 3-D television to watch the brand-spanking-new season on the Aboriginal Broadcasting Network. There's a big bowl of popcorn on your lap, a bowl of corn soup on the table, a bottle of diet pop in your hand because your favorite chair now makes a noise when you sit on it, and then you press the "on" button to tune in....

...The adventures of two undercover special constables as they struggle to stem the flow of illegal cigarettes flooding over the Canadian/U.S. border. The show - Akwesasne Vice.

Nah, too violent...besides, it's hard to make a pickup truck and plaid lumber jackets look sexy. You flip the channel.

How about the tale of a family with good-looking, if annoying, teenagers moving from up north to a rather prosperous and up-scale Indian reserve located in Southern Ontario? It could be called Curve Lake KOLIRO.

Oh please, if I want to hear whining or upset people, I'll tune in a constitutional conference or a First Ministers' meeting. There's always one on somewhere.

Stay tuned for the touching, heart-warming story of an Iroquois family moving out to the Canadian Midwest to start a new life as farmers. Monday nights at 8 p.m. Longhouse on the Prairie. Or how about the Inuit version, Little Igloo on the Tundra?

No, I'm borderline diabetic as it is. That would push me over the edge. Flip the channels again.

The fun continues as we join the wacky and comic adventures of a trio of friends on a small, overcrowded reserve. Jack is introduced to two beautiful women who have just recently been reinstated. And due to the lack of adequate housing they are forced to live together in his small, cramped house. TV's newest sitcom, Cree's company.

Evidence of a once proud civilization. I wonder if we can blame this on Columbus, too? Flip.

Immediately followed the misadventures of five wildly different teenage girls as they laugh, love and learn to get along with each other while living together at a Maritime residential school. Stay tuned for The Micmacs of Life.

I could be out mowing my grass right now, or shovelling the walk, getting a heart attack and dying. Tough decision. Flip.

And for the Native communities' most dysfunctional family Al, Peg, Kelly and Bud Benojee, don't miss Shacked Up With Kids. This is actually closer to life than you'd think.

No wonder people always told stories around the campfire - if the storyteller told a bad story, you could always set him or her on fire.

Think about it, people.