From one Raven's Eye

Page 7

One hot and seemingly endless summer day, a young raven sat high up in a pine looking as bored as could be. He watched rabbit, deer and fox do those things they do, day in, day out, their whole lives through.

"There has got to be more to living than this," he said to himself. "That's it. I"m going to leave this place and go out into the world to see for myself what more life has to offer."

So for years after he travelled. His search took him across wide oceans that nearly drowned him, over mountaintops that nearly froze him, by deserts that almost fried him and through jungles where just about everything tried to eat him. In each country he spoke to the wisest animals who all took an interest in his journey. Finally he returned to where he had started from to settle down and raise family of his own.

One day he found his own son yawning in the afternoon of a listless summer day. "Father," said the son, "there has got to be more to life than this." The old raven then told of his wanderings in search of life's meanings.

"And what did you discover?" the younger raven asked.

"Only this," replied the father. "Life is neither here nor there. Life is life every-where. By living each day with open eyes, an open heart and an open mind, a person will find all its hidden pleasures and mysteries exactly where and as they live them,"

Of course the young raven wasn't satisfied by his father's words and undertook a journey of his own, but then that is another of life's lesson as well.

So how does this story fit in with what we set out talking about last week, you ask? And how come back then I called kids aliens and this time around birdies?

Well in a way, youngster between age 10 and 16 are in various stages of leaving the next. As parents, it starts to get very important what our flapping round is teaching those very nervous but very anxious to learn to fly offspring of ours.

I guess what we are trying to do is help them to understand themselves and the world we are all surrounded by. This is not an easy thing to do.

For example, why did my kid - his name is Nathan, but the way - get into more fights over his long hair and braids at the Indian school he went to than at the public school he goes to now?

Now in coming up with possible answers, remember it's a kid you'll be telling this to. Long winded, and, but, if, then sentences can cost you his attention pretty quick.

What I just said isn't meant to say kids can't understand. They often know much more than about what is really going on than what they are given credit for. One thing they can see for sure is the distance between how you are and what you say you are and how you say they should try to be.

I remember many times being told to never drink or smoke, and get the best education I could. This advice was given me by a person holding a cigarette in one hand and a beer bottle in the other. When I got into Grade 12 he would bug me about being over-educated and brag about all he had done with just Grade 8 schooling.

Maybe that's a bad example because at that point there was no love lost between that paid-by-the-month parent and myself. If you have that natural love and the respect that goes with it happening for you on your side then you are way ahead already.

The fact remains, though, kids know whether you are living up to your words or not. Now unless we're perfect we might as well admit that to them. They are going to find out pretty fast anyway, but they are also real good at forgiving.

Maybe the real raising part starts when we try to make them aware of what it would take to make the world and all the people in it as strong and right on as they can

be. And that by trying for that as hard as we can maybe we will all get there one day.

Another very encouraging thing we have going for us besides that natural love for us by them is the fact that there really isn't that much of what's called a generation gap amongst us.

All of us, my wife Lori, Nathan and I look forward to our visits back home with my mom and Joe. We talk, joke around, eat big meals, and generally have lots of good times together.

My parents are in many ways a connection to the past that helps us to better understand and deal with the present. Having that vital thing in common keeps our relationship an important and growing one.

Many non-Native people my age aren't that crazy about their parents anymore. Their new way of living caused them to lose touch with whatever value there was in their parents' life experiences.

I just hope that when Nathan sets out on his own he'll feel the same way about visiting home and his parents as I do in my time.

A few weekends ago, I suggested to the kid we go to a movie downtown. He said, nah, he'd rather go bike riding with his friends. It occurred to me right there that a natural separation was occurring between us.

In three years he will be a teenager. Three to five years after that he will more than likely leave our house for good. Six years. Is that all that's left? Eight years isn't long enough either.

I guess how it goes is that kids not only grow up but they at the time grow away, too. That part of the deal is hard on the old parenting heart. Shucks, I miss him already. All I can do, I guess, is get busy and enjoy having him with me today.

Well, that's it for this week. Until next time, then, get out there and soak up some wind and sun. You have an Aboriginal right to get as brown as you can.