From One Raven's Eye

Page 7

Ahneen, howdy and yo. And of course Happy New Year to you. If the toy companies do a major share of their business at Xmas, the swollen head pill people probably look forward to this time of year also. Many of the same folks who once sang out "ho, ho, ho," will spend most of January 1 whispering, "oh...oh...oh."

Doesn't it seem to you that one of the best part of having fun is to be able to laugh about it all again afterwards? If you can't remember what you've done, aren't you only getting half of what you set out to enjoy? Still there are more of us who find the balance between merry sipping and pie-eyed tripping and even some who don't even miss the liquor part of the occasion at all. However, no matter how you go about it, it's supposed to be a celebration, right?

A celebration, sure, but a kicking up of heels over what exactly? A turning of the Gregorian calendar? The fact we've made it through 1986? Well, okay...

Well what was 1, 9, 8 and 6 exactly? What does 1, 9, 8 and 7 mean, for that matter? A number way of keeping track of time? Well I guess...but numbers are like a measure of going from somewhere in a line to someplace else, eh? What then are we twirling away from? What are we waltzing our way towards.

Someplace brighter and sometimes more hopeful.. The white bearded old man of '86 has lost his zip and didn't finish what needs fixing up. Baby '87, all pinky innocent, may be the one who will grow up to be the people Mother Earth always intended to raise.

None of this makes total sense to a brown thinking head. What else is involved here?

Hmmm..the calendar we follow to mark a year's passing was made up by Pope Gregory the Eighth back in 1581. According to Gregory number 8, though, winter doesn't begin until December 22nd. Too bad he isn't around to tell us what the stuff we've been shoveling for the last month and one-half. Confetti? Dandruff?

Besides his version, there is a Jewish calendar, a Chinese, a Moslem, a Hindu, two Roman, a French and another church one. There's also one made by the Aztec Indians that is the most accurate of all. It , however, was made way south of here, near the equator. For them, winter nights start December 22nd all right, but it probably ends by lunchtime the same day.

What we should use is a North American, temperate version of all that to really celebrate a year's turning. Say something in April. When green stuff goes buddy, ducks tips over in search of lunch and kit beavers tow their first ripples across an evening colored pond. When the natural new year kicks in, you know.

Being natural beings also, we could shape our celebration to it. Maybe go to bed with the sun and wake up with it once again. Cook a big meal outside the next day. Have a nice, quiet thankful time before summer's busy work gets going.

However, because there is no such occasion and the reasons for the one already in place aren't clear, further research is therefore necessary. To do that we, the Wagamese house, are going to throw a New Year's party. Any reader who finds my place is automatically invited.

First of all, a few general party principles will be followed.

On my reserve at the stroke of midnight people step out and boom...fire shotguns in the air. We have decided not to get quite that back home in our carrying on at our present address.

If you are, however, into noise, plastic and paper horns will be provided. In order to get full volume out of those you have to wear a little pointed hat. Between that and the elastic tucked under your chin no air can escape except out your whistle. There is a perfectly logical explanation for wearing the silly shiny things so don't even bother to try to be shy about it.

Also, the tradition of kissing female strangers at midnight makes me a little nervous too. However, if someone is trying to be friendly you should try to be friendly also. Besides that, whenever physically attacked in whatever manner you gotta defend yourself - even if that meansengaging your attacker with your lips.

Where there are snacks, you are requested to snack. If dancing busts out, you are invited to dance. If you stand around like a big brown stick you may just have volunteered to be the New Year's Eve coatrack.

We may also put up a big hunk of paper for people to write resolutions on. I personally don't do that, but as the host I made up a few safe onces in advance. For example, I resolve never to eat an entire bannock by myself if the thing is bigger than the cushions on a couch. Maybe you can think up one or two in case you are asked to help with that list, also.

Maybe New Year's is a lot simpler than time, calendars and numbered stuff. Maybe it's sort of like resting up by wearing ourselves right out. We are, after all, descending into winter's meanest stretch. Prancing around builds up precious body heat. Also this is the last long weekend until Easter. That's right. Three whole months without an entire night to do what we want, however late we want. Ninety whole days without one long, bone-soothing morning to sleep in on.

If it turns out that is the only real reason to get in on the deal as it presently exists, then that reason is good enough for me.

I will let you know how my bash turns out if you happen to show up close by here again next week, okay? Until then, Happy New Year, you all...