Recovery means feeling safe for abuse victim

Page 11

Shannon is on the road to recovery. She's recovering from being victimized in two separate abusive relationships.

For her, it has meant learning to believe she and her children are safe.

Feeling safe has taken more than two years, and although she says she still doesn't trust people enough to let them into her home, she has recovered enough to take the next step in her healing process.

Shannon (not her real name) is currently studying to become a psychologist, one who deals with women and children who have been involved in abusive, or sexually abusive, situations.

"I'm very angry at how women are treated, and how little help there is for them," she said.

Shannon is one of many women who attend a support group, through WIN House in Edmonton, for women who have been in, or are currently in, abusive situations.

"I have to keep going to this group and tell them 'here is what one woman did', and spread the word."

Carol Croxon, Director of the Ojibway Family Resource Centre, Shelter for and Non-Native Women in Crisis and Their Children, North Bay, Ontario, agreed involvement in support groups is part of the healing process.

"We have an outreach program situated outside of the (safe) house. It's a neutral place, where we have group sessions and learn about anger and family dynamics. Learning about anger helps arm a person. If you can understand, it helps in the healing journey," Croxon said.

Shannon has been learning a lot. Many of her psychology courses deal specifically with women and abuse, or children and sexual abuse.

"There's not a lot of psychologists who want to deal with child sexual abuse," she said, explaining man y don't like to become involved in court proceedings.

"One of the things I like about being single is I'm not willing to take those risks with my kids," said Shannon. Her former partner is currently serving a sentence for sexually abusing a child from another relationship.

She also expressed concern over what her two children learned from her two abusive relationships, pointing out she will be correcting that value system until they are adults.

"Family violence has many repercussions for kids," said Croxon.

"Many Native kids are not happy with who they are. They see negative images of people on television and in the media. If there's violence in their families, they'll grow up with the understanding that violence is how you get what you want.

"I think that people, that is not traditionally the way they've lived," Croxon explained. "Family violence is foreign to them. Family violence happens everywhere.

The thing about Native people is it didn't always happen. There was a role for everyone."

She explained the traditional way of life was hard. Everybody had a job to do, and survival depended on everybody doing their job.

"Now men don't have that pride. There's unemployment and women have to abandon their roles and go to work. They (men) feel they're not contributing to family life. They start drinking, they don't feel good anymore.

"With the children we can start from scratch. We need to teach our children the traditional ways," Croxon stated.

"They're our future."