Young elder re-discovers culture

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Alfred Bonaise, a Cree Indian from Little Pine, Saskatchewan, having lost everything to alcoholism now helps others on the road to recovery at Poundmaker's Lodge. Respected by many as a young Elder with years of re-discovered tradition behind him, he talks about the road he went down and turned away from.

Having never had any formal education he began working at the age of fifteen. "That's the way I've been taught get up with the sun, go to sleep at night," he explained, "and earn the things you need."

It was not soon after this, unknown to him then, that he began his fight with alcoholism. "At 19, I began taking a few drinks. As I went on, I began to drink more and more. I got involved with a woman and had children. And still, I just drank heavier and heavier. Then I lost my culture. Alcohol took it away from me. It took my family from me. They all left me."

By 1972, he found himself a hopeless alcoholic-alone. There were some who tried to help. "My parents used to cry in front of me and say that alcohol was killing me. I used to deny it and say I could quit anytime. Then, I was introduced to an AA program and went into treatment. That's how I sobered up. But I know how it feels when you slip, because I slipped twice. I kept trying. On my last slip I went to talk to Elders. They helped me, and I stuck with my sponsor."

"That's when I became stronger. I guess what my grandfather told me was true. I started sobering up in 1973, went back to my culturethe sundance and the sweetgrass ceremony."

He had some hard times and saw a lot of tragedies from alcoholism, but he believed in his program and was growing stronger in his traditions. His father, being a strong believer in the sweat, sweetgrass and the sundance, helped him out by his example. "To my father it was sacred. To me it was sacred. I feel it, for that was where I was born again. I reeducated myself and developed my skills. I worked close with Elders and at Saskatchewan Cultural College a year after I sobered up. I met a lot of Elders from different tribes across Canada. That's where I became really strong."

He worked in his own community for two years, but found it difficult to work with his own people, because of the way they used to see him and the way he drank. "They had a hard time believing I had changed. I tried to be honest with them, share with them and care."

"My father sent me over to Poundmaker Lodge in 1979. I didn't know about this place except for a powwow I went to in 1975. I stayed for a couple of days. I was leaving when the director at that time invited me to his office. He asked me how long I'd been sober, how long I'd been in jail for alcohol and if I knew anything about the program. I said yes. Then he asked me if I wanted to work here. I was surprised, and I said yes."

Knowing he's one of those lucky people who sober up and get a job when there are so many professionals and qualified people, he uses one of the best educations to help the recovering alcoholic"his experience."

"I respect this place, because I know what's behind it. Sometimes I'll give lectures on the history of Chief Poundmaker and Native ways and culture.

"I spent a lot of time with my grandmother when I was small, around the battlefield of 1885, and she would talk about Poundmaker and his battle. The more I stay sober, the more I remember and practice my culture. The more it comes back to me naturally. The sweatlodge, sweetgrass, the Elderseven the powwows.

I've been involved with powwows for a long time and I respect them. I told my sponsor once that I had wasted so many years drunk around powwows. He told me not to say that because that was experience that I could use in the future."

We were sitting in the prayer room during the interview. All the sacred objects on the walls and floors told their story. The bearskin rugs were worn from constant use by clients. The sweetgrass, eagle fan, everything was well used and respected.

"We have our sweetgrass cereonies here every morning. I share with the group a bit about the sweetgrass. They are so confused when they come here, they are on two different roads. It's hard for them, but I try to explain to them in a short and simple way to understand.

"It can't come from a book. They have to be a part of it to see, feel and think about these things. It will help them be strong in the future to gain strength and guidance to maintain their sobriety. This is what we ask every morning for each individual."

Every Tuesday night, they have the pipe ceremony. On Fridays, they have the sweatlodge. All of these help the client to develop their strengths.

"With the pipe, they learn giving and the power they have within themselves. Some are weak people, some are very strong. The pipe is very sacred. In the sweat, many feelings come out, and they find how much they can develop inside themselves. It helps then purify themselves. That's why the sweatlodge is so important. People can really clean their minds, body and get rid of the drugs and alcohol in their systems."

Bonaise also gives cultural lectures twice a week. The rest of the time is spent on working with the recovering clients. His week is book solid. He feels there is still more to be done. "I'm still learning today, I've still got a long ways to go. They culture and AA, or perhaps the light of learning never stops. No one can say they've learned everything.

"A lot of people have lost their lives to drugs and alcohol. It's really sad. But that's what we're working on here. Every night I pray for my people, my personal family. I know where they've come from. I know what it's like to be behind bars, sick in hospitals. Alcoholism is a disease.

"It doesn't matter what color the person is, it's a human being. There's people still out there, but I have hope for them to get out of this darkness. We pray for this every morning, for guidance and strength to be with us and be strong."